where all the signs point to

so i'm writing this blog post even though i really should start emailing people and learn how to network and hustle. i've been feeling a little under for a few days, just feeling very unsure of myself. i'm not sure what i'm expecting but i guess that's the problem when you're pretty much working on your own, your own thoughts are what will guide or lead you astray.

i just went to pick up an asos order which was hilariously big even though it just had a jacket inside (a gift from home, i can't let myself afford such nice things just yet!). it was nice to get outside my tiny bedroom even for just a few minutes. a few steps out and i realised how alone i had been feeling.  it is usually something i embrace, i like my own company, we should all learn to, but i realised how very disconnected i might have been feeling.
I was miffy for all of a minute till my extroverted nature (surprise surprise) was quickly impacted by the tall skyscrapers i could see in the not too far distance. looking up, i decided that if i was going to feel alone anywhere, than this city was where i wanted to feel it. happy points collected. 

i got to the post office and picked up my parcel, silently whoopee'ing when they found my name since I was going sans tracking information (what up USPS!). as i walked out with that huge box under one arm, brian mcknight's 'win' crept through my earphones. peace. a few more happy points. it's not the most out of the blue of signs as it's a downloaded mp3 on my phone but in that mood, I really listened. "Upon myself I must depend" . thank you B. 

I then decided I was going to stop by the cake shop in hopes of finding a belated moon cake (i know, it's been 2 weeks already.. heh heh). walking down the familiar path I suddenly had an urge to look up. and on the high walls: 

FORWARD. 

a surge of happiness filled me. i know, how cheesy, but i just wasn't expecting it. i've lived here for 6 months now and never noticed that word there before. i'm usually lazy/apprehensive about whipping my phone out and snapping photos (something i need to stop feeling, i want to be a blogger dammit) but in that moment, i had that f*** it feeling - i need a photo of this. I took a good few snaps, stepped along and took a few more, and all the while giving no craps about what people around me thought. it may have looked like any other afternoon, but to me there was something worth taking a photo of and that is a feeling i'm going to remember next time i feel silly about getting my camera out or heck, doing anything what i want to do! gawd, i just tangented. oops. back to it..

i merrily walked towards the cake shop still hoping for that elusive moon cake. no dice. but even better (and again unexpectedly), jay chow's 'simple love' was playing. i never expect to hear something i know around Chinatown let alone something I love. I almost wanted to burst into tears. luckily i'm not that dramatic, i just grinned like an idiot with my huge box on my hip, practically spinning on the spot scanning the sweet treats. high on this beloved tune and all the moments before, i thought to myself: i came to the right place.

and i still think it. 

love and peace sign,

maia