no, i don't have all the answers

i've been some kind of tutor/teacher on and off since i was 18. that's 13 years now. and while that's great training for this future female pharell/jay-z, i have to admit now that i don't have the answers. i'm still working things out. and even wondering if there will be answer for those things.

i don't know how i'm supposed to feel sometimes. what i'm supposed to do, or say. how can i be vulnerable when i'm so scared. how do i put myself out there but be chill about it at the same time. i don't fucking know.

and yet there i often am, with an "s" on my chest, all too eager to look like i'm okay and i know what i'm doing.

but i can't run my life like it's a math textbook. there aren't answers if i flip forward to the back (as ironic as that sentence is). all we can do is our best, not the image of what is the best. oof. breathe. 

so here i go. onto the next blank page and ready to live the next unwritten and unplanned moments. holla.

all love, maia.